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Previously on Drag Race: The top five acted their tits off in a very long scripted comedy challenge. Symone continued to doubt her abilities heading into the final stretch of the competition. The unstoppable Rosé got herself another win. And Kandy Muse beat out Olivia Lux to that last spot in the top four.

The dolls do a quick tally of their track record going into the final challenge. Symone has FOUR wins, despite her recent missteps. Rosé has three, and has never been in the bottom two. Neither has Gottmik, but she only has two wins. And poor Kandy Muse has one win and quite a few trips to the bottom two.

“Whatever”

This week, the queens are being given the classic top four treatment: they’re going to write, record, and lip-sync to a verse on one of RuPaul‘s tracks. The choreography will be done by resident hottie Jamal Sims. Gottmik is extra excited now, because he totally has a crush on Jamal.

Join the club, baby.

The contestants sit down to write their lyrics. Rosé obviously has a natural advantage here, but she has one extra secret talent up her poofy sleeve. When the pandemic hit, Rosé started making some money by getting commissions for writing personalized rap verses. So the bitch can spit some rhymes is what she’s saying.

Is that a thing? “Spit some rhymes”? Help me, I’m too gay to function.

Gottmik is feeling ecstatic about being in the top four and wants to put that boundless joy into her lyrics. She’s just that excited to be here—being bitchy isn’t necessary!

Love the enthusiasm. Also I would commit a felony for that jacket.

Gottmik is the first to have a chat with RuPaul and Michelle Visage. He talks about how he got his drag name by mashing together pieces of his old name. RuPaul and Mik have a fun laugh about wanting to stay in the werk room forever.

If you can make Miss Paul laugh… that’s a good sign.

Rosé talks about feeling stifled as an artist in Brita City prior to discovering drag. She feels like she can really express herself now with this newfound passion. Ru and Rosé discuss Stephanie’s Child, the musical drag trio Rosé and Jan are a part of.

Lagoona Bloo is next, mark my words.

Kandy has a fun kiki with Michelle and Ru about her ups and downs on the show. Ru tells Kandy she’s “very special.” You can tell Ru really loves her.

Aja found dead.

Symone talks about the House of Avalon and how she and her Avalon sisters all moved from Little Rock, Arkansas to Los Angeles together. She discusses the difference between “Reggie” and “Symone,” and how Symone is its own hyper-confident entity that’s often separate from Reggie. Ru tells Symone that the two personalities don’t have to be separate. Reggie should stop letting his shyness get in his way and apply that Symone confidence to everything in his life too.

That’s some good life advice.

The next day as the dolls get ready for the last runway, Gottmik and Symone talk about learning to just be themselves and letting that be its own kind of confidence. Symone sees herself the way everyone else sees her now. It’s a beautiful, raw moment for her.

My heart!

Ru’s Lewk Ruview:

The dress is so gorge, the hair is perfect, the makeup is stunning. Yes yes yes.

Gottmik opens the top four performance of “Lucky” with a fantastic rap that’s miles beyond the lacking performance she delivered in her “Condragulations” verse. She kills the rhymes, is serving quintessential Gottmik paint, and is doing the whole thing while corseted too. Werk.

Kandy looks great in this yellow confection. Her verse is fun, though the whispered part is a bit jarring and slows the energy down a lot, unfortunately. Still, it’s a great showing.

As expected, Rosé absolutely murders this challenge. Her lyrics are smart, the singing is SO GOOD, and her rap is super unexpected and totally amazing.

Symone opted for more of a sultry spoken word vibe for her part, which isn’t bad per se—just not nearly strong enough after Rosé just knocked it out of the park seconds before. She looks great, though.

Now for the final four runway extravaganza!

Gottmik looks like a full-on alien from outer space in this Dalmatian fantasy. The gown is gorgeous, the hair is perfect, and can. we. talk. about. the. makeup?! Incredible.

Kandy explains gowns aren’t her thing, so she’d rather stay true to herself and wear a final four number that feels right for her. This cute corset illusion number is really fun and the colors pop in the best way.

Rosé looks like one of the muses from Hercules with this gigantic layered wig, which is so damn gorge. The dress is Scottish, paying homage to her roots. I don’t know that the fluffy white purse necessarily goes with the lewk, but I still like it.

Symone looks so incredibly beautiful in this short hair and gorgeous purple gown with wildly oversized sleeves. I just wish the sleeves didn’t bunch up at the bottom and could flare out more, but it’s still beautiful.

Most of the top four critiques are unsurprising: the judges have to be nice to all the queens to give them a fair chance at the crown. But RuPaul goes one step beyond for Gottmik and gets emotional talking about what she represents and how proud her parents must be.

Hot damn!

Backstage, Rosé gets a sweet video message from her brother and gets emotional for perhaps the first time this season. She’s very aware of how privileged she is in that her family has been so unconditionally loving and supportive of her.

Awwww. Also: THE BEAUTY.

Symone gets a super cute message from her adorable mom too, saying her child is special and that she loves her more than pecan pie. Symone says it felt good to get a reminder that she’s special from her mom.

Tell your mom you love her, babes.

On the main stage, RuPaul tells all the girls they’ll be lip-syncing for their spot in the finale… one at a time.

“Oh shittt”

The lip-sync song is “I Learned from the Best” by Whitney Houston… the HQ2 Radio Mix, hennie.

Gottmik has to go first, so in that sense, she has the least amount of time to prepare. She does a solid job, not bringing any memorable moments but hitting all the words and bringing the feeling.

Kandy has a little outfit reveal, serves a high kick or two, and chews the scenery. It’s a bit overkill, but it’s still a great performance.

Rosé’s lip-sync style is ultra intense and dramatic, and it makes for good entertainment. She hits every beat perfectly. A professional.

Symone performs while holding a towel the entire time, a reference to something Whitney Houston herself used to do frequently. Pure genius.

The verdict is in. All four queens get to stay!

Yay!!

We’re having ourselves a top four finale, hennies! … In two weeks, after the reunion. This is officially the season that will never end.

With that beautiful conclusion to another elimination-free episode, I leave you with this fabulous gif of the top four mugging the crap out of their closeups, Mister DeMille.

See you next week, divas!

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