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Previously on Drag Race: Twelve incredibly talented queens competed in this stunner of a season where every single elimination hurt just a little bit (or a lot bit). Poor Jan thought she had the top three in the bag and was thoroughly robbedt. Brita made it her life’s mission to be as hateful towards Aiden Zhane as humanly possible. Jackie Cox struggled to live her dragged-up life with very conservative parents. Widow Von’Du allowed her inner saboteur to get the best of her. Oh, and the world ended halfway through the season. Party!

The dolls are keeping it cute this year and having the season reunion via a Zoom call––so glam. Do we wanna take bets on whose internet is gonna be the crappiest? Spoiler alert: it’s Brita’s.

RuPaul opens the show with a little intro about staying safe and doing this reunion slumber-party style and uh… Ru honey what is you wearing?

What kinda gay-ass S&M facekini?

We start things off with a check-in with everyone’s favorite queen, the already legendary Heidi N Closet. Miss Closet reveals she used to take anger management classes when she was younger because of all of the bullying she suffered. She managed to turn all that rage into a fabulous personality, though. Heidi confirms she was not afraid of Nicki Minaj the day she confronted her, and she still isn’t today.

Fearless queen.

Heidi’s spat with Gigi Goode comes up next: Gigi explains how she was trying to give Heidi constructive criticism because she genuinely cared, but in the heat of the moment, the criticism just came out way harsh and not that constructive.

Awkwarrddd.

It’s all water under the bridge now, though: Heidi totally forgives Gigi’s slip-up. Because how could sweet lil’ Heidi hold on to a grudge?

Heidi takes the opportunity to (very gently) address Ru trying to come up with a better name for her all season. She wisely explains that her fans love the original name and have been calling themselves “Closet cases,” so she might have to stick with “Heidi N Closet.” Ru cracks a joke and lets it go.

So happy for Heidi, but does this mean I have to start calling myself a Closet case again? I thought I was past that!

My French gal Nicky Doll comes up next, and the queens talk a little bit about her last episode, where everyone thought she should go home because of her performance… including herself. Nicky regrets putting herself down now and says that looking back, she really didn’t do that poorly in the “Gay’s Anatomy” challenge. She’s learned to be more confident since Drag Race and won’t make the mistake of putting herself down ever again.

Yas, madame, stand up for ya self!

Brita is asked about naming Nicky as the one who should go home, but… so, let’s get this very obvious fact out of the way first: Brita realizes she was a Bitch with a capital C during the season, and she’s clearly using this reunion to do some serious damage control. So she gives a very neutral pageant-y answer about naming Nicky as the worst, talking about how they’re all so talented. Yawn.

Aiden is NOT. HAVING. IT.

On a brighter note, Ru mentions Nicky was the one who did Pete Davidson‘s drag makeup for RuPaul’s episode of Saturday Night Live. Nicky thanks Ru for the opportunity to work with her and for the valuable talk they had that day.

Ah, to be a fly on that wall…

Our Persian princess Jackie Cox is the next topic of conversation. Something that was never really brought up during the competition is finally addressed at the reunion: Jackie is a really bossy lady! She did spend a lot of the season basically telling the queens how things were gonna go and not giving them much of a choice. Jaida Essence Hall says she thought it was unfair that the queens had to compete against a Drag Race producer.

NURSE.

Jackie did make a new fan during the season, though: she gets a special message from her Snatch Game character Lisa Rinna and her husband Harry Hamlin!

It’s what she deserves!

Aiden Zhane is next. She talks about how she’s a bedroom queen first and foremost––meaning she primarily does drag in her bedroom for the fun of it––and this quarantine life has been treating her a little better than most since she’s so used to it. And since we’re getting a peek into her home life, Aiden reveals she doesn’t just have the one pussycat wig. She has a collection of them!!

Oh work bitch.

We finally get to the one big kerfuffle of the season: Brita vs. Aiden. Aiden calls it like she seenT it, stating Brita had been doing poorly and was lashing out at Aiden out of shame and frustration because she thought she’d be doing way better than she ended up doing.

Bloop.

Brita admits that was basically the T, and that it was hard for her to watch herself behave so poorly on the season. She apologizes for targeting Aiden. RuPaul brings up Widow Von’Du’s criticism of Brita’s hypocritical “I love Aiden” after Aiden’s elimination. Widow was the only real girl in the room that day, and she’s feeling pretty vindicated now.

Widow ain’t here for your bullshit.

Brita insists she meant it when she said she loved Aiden, and still does. It all sounds a little bullshit-y, but Aiden takes the high road instead of doubling down. I think Aiden realizes Brita has been in a difficult place with the fans all season because of her behavior, so she lets Brita off the hook and even tells her she loves her back.

She probably doesn’t mean it, but that was very noble.

As an icebreaker, Ru gets the queens to expose what they look like from the waist down––because we all know nobody wears pants to a Zoom meeting, mawma. A couple of the queens actually do look presentable down there, but most of them are literally chilling in their underwear below the geesh.

Nicky! Sacrebleu!

The topic turns to painful eliminations, particularly the early ones. Dahlia Sin discusses her awkward stomping off after being eliminated. She was really angry that day and still thinks she shouldn’t have been in the bottom. But she’s come to terms with it and at least she had the fierce Brocc-ally cameos to soften the blow.

And Miss Thing looks good.

Rock M. Sakura talks about her elimination too, which the girls agree was the hardest of the season. Rock M. says she really thought she was in the top that day.

Bitch, I did too!

Things have gotten better for Rock M. since the show aired. Her mom, who struggled with drug addiction and caused a lot of emotional damage for her, is now sober and got an insight into how badly she’d hurt her child. They’ve since reconnected. In fact, her mom was there for Rock M.’s first gig after filming Drag Race and told her how proud of her she was. Aww.

RuPaul’s Drag Race, bringing families back together since 2009.

Widow Von’Du is next. She goes over letting out her inner sabotwah and how throughout the competition, she didn’t open up to any of her cysters. The worst inner saboteurs in the show’s herstory have been the girls who closed themselves off from the other queens and didn’t allow people to reach out.

Nina Bo’nina Brown says hi!

Watching herself back, though, Widow saw exactly what she did bring to the competition (black excellence and nothing less, thank you very much) and also understood that shutting everyone out was a big part of her downfall. She won’t underestimate herself again.

Yes, bitch!

Jan’s total robbery comes up, and the girls discuss her Jantics (yes I did) after she was declared safe in the Madonna challenge. Yes, a small part of her tears were for Brita’s exit, but mostly, everyone did call it––she was crushed about not winning the challenge. That loss made Jan feel like if she couldn’t win this challenge, there was no point in her even being here. Poor cyst. But hey, it’s okay, she picked herself up and is selling merch about her gag-worthy moment. All is well!

She betta make that money!

We get to see a snippet of Jan’s Season 12 audition, a performance of her as Kris Jenner lip-syncing to Ru’s “Call Me Mother” in her kitchen. Genius.

Wash your hands!

After a cute game of Toot or Boot, the girls finally get to play a mini-challenge that was sorely missed this season: the reading challenge!! Yay! Brita starts things off strong (VERY strong) with this legendary read for Dahlia Sin: “You sure do talk a big game for someone who came in thirteenth place on a twelve-person season.”

DECEASED.

Poor Nicky Doll has a read for Crystal Methyd, but between her accent and the way she explains it, no one really gets it (I didn’t either). But Rock M. Sakura saves the day with this: “Don’t worry you guys, I put everything into Google Translate and it came out funny.”

Clever bitch.

Crystal Methyd has a couple of great reads, including this one: “Jan, do you have a condom I could borrow? I know you’re always safe.”

Also, can we talk about this Ebenezer Scrooge lewk she’s rocking? Legend.

With that hilariousness out of the way, the gals go for a bit of fake drama because this has been RuPaul’s Best Friend Race all season. Rock M. Sakura accuses Jaida Essence Hall of screwing her over with the Bad Apple character in the World’s Worst challenge.

Who doesn’t live for fake drama?!

The whole thing devolves into a (fake) twelve-person screaming match over Zoom, which obviously is impossible to understand. It’s amazing. These gals really scripted a whole pretend argument for the laughs.

I lub this cast.

Vanessa Vanjie Mateo leaves a few video messages for the girls, one of which involves a very indecent proposition for Jackie.

Miss Cox if you’re… Vanjie, I guess?

RuPaul brings up the rumors going around lately of Gigi Goode and Crystal Methyd secretly dating. Beyon-say what? The girls crack a few jokes and coyly dance around the subject, so… it’s a maybe? I’m into it.

Well I’m into it without the Scrooge lewk…

The Season 12 gals talk a bit about recent developments with their families. Most notably, Jackie Cox reveals she finally had a conversation with her mom about doing drag and being on Drag Race before the season aired. Her mom came around and has put her support behind Jackie. In fact, she even wrote a sweet letter to RuPaul saying how proud she was of her child.

Awww, my feels!

With a few final words from the top three, we wrap up this surprisingly delightful reunion. Next week, with some at-home lip-syncs for the crown and (hopefully) a healthy dose of movie magic, we find out who will be the winner of the most talent-filled season this show has seen in years, possibly ever!

For the first time in Drag Race herstory… three-way tie?

See you next week, queens!

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