Previously on Drag Race: The queens performed in a parody of my FAVORITE TV show and they did it justice. Widow Von’Du killed it despite being cast in a role she didn’t want. Aiden Zhane outperformed her scene partner and mortal nemesis Brita, whose bottom placement sent her off the deep end. And my Day One fave, the fab Nicky Doll, was sent home to my great chagrin.
The queens haven’t even been back in the werk room for five minutes when Brita once again brings up the fact that she thinks Aiden Zhane should’ve been in the bottom instead of her.
Aiden is tired of this shit and is not intending on taking this lying down anymore. Enough is enough. (You go, girl!)
The next mornting, RuPaul comes in to announce this week’s maxi-challenge: it’s the Snatch Game!
We’ve got a special guest star in the house: Vanessa Vanjie Mateo is here!
Vanjie is here to help Ru give the queens some advice on what to do––and what not to do––for Snatch Game. Evidently, Vanjie is here to give them advice on what to stay away from because her Snatch Game performance sucked, which makes me wonder why they thought to have her here for this. Whatevs.
Ru and Vanjie go around the room giving queens some pretty awful advice, honestly. They keep trying to get the girls to change their characters without even really giving their original ideas a chance. Crystal Methyd in particular starts to seriously doubt herself after Ru suggests she does someone else.
But Gigi Goode, being the absolute embodiment of C.U.N.T., says to Ru: “I understand your concern, but I do not have the same concern.”
It’s time for Snatch Game!!
Heidi N Closet is portraying one of our recent guest judges, Leslie Jones, and the clever bitch made herself look exactly like Leslie’s Drag Race appearance. Her usual quick wit carries her through the challenge. She also pulls out Widow’s ugly shoe from that one episode, which is pretty damn funny.
Jackie Cox is fun, loud, and fully in character start to finish as famous TV Housewife Lisa Rinna. She really shines, and she totally looks the part. It’s a great performance.
Jaida Essence Hall is playing Cardi B, and while she nails the characterization, she oddly fades into the background––quite a surprise for the usually effervescent Jaida. It’s a shame.
Jan is adorable as Bernadette Peters, and while she nails the voice and mannerisms, the humor is a little on the light side. I wish she’d thrown in a few more jokes.
Widow Von’Du plays Tina Turner, then turns into Ike Turner halfway through. It’s a risky gamble, but it pays off for the most part.
Y’all, I cannot stress this enough. Gigi Goode is fucking TRANSCENDENT as “Maria the Robot,” based on that famous robot lady. This is hands-down one of the funniest, smartest Snatch Game performances in the show’s history. Absolutely incredible.
Aiden Zhane is playing Patricia Quinn, famous for her role in The Rocky Horror Picture Show back in the day. But possibly due to a lack of preparation and knowledge about the lady, Aiden’s main shtick for her is to say she has no idea what’s going on throughout the whole Snatch Game. It’s funny for the first 30 seconds and then it’s just uncomfortable.
Brita’s playing Jennifer Holliday, but the only real trick she has up her sleeve here is the use of her huge mouth for physical comedy. Other than that, she’s utterly bland.
Crystal Methyd’s weird, robotic Poppy is an interesting concept, but you can tell she’s really unsure of herself. She doesn’t really allow herself the freedom to try making real jokes, so the character falls flat.
The next day, the queens get their makeup ready for the runway. Widow Von’Du talks about how she wanted to do Tina Turner because she can relate––she was in a lot of abusive relationships after being kicked out by her family for being gay. And this was after her mom died. But she’s pulled herself together through drag, and has now been in a happy marriage for two years.
Gigi talks about choosing a bald robot for a character and how that is a little less feminine than her usual looks. But she also discusses feeling like she’s always been sort of in between male and female. She’s genderfluid, really, and she’s sort of realizing that now. Gigi credits her family for fully, openly accepting her as she is and allowing her to become whatever she wanted to be.
This week on the runway, we’re paying homage to Frozen. The Broadway musical, mind you, because Drag Race isn’t really allowed to touch Disney properties.
Heidi N Closet is serving what she describes as “Empress to the Yeti folk,” which like… you can’t argue with that kind of title. It’s a cute look, and the long platinum blond hair looks fantastic on her.
Jackie Cox is wearing a blonde wig too, and she looks gorgeous. This is a pretty different look for her, and it works. The construction of the garment is really something.
Jaida Essence Hall is pulling a Statue of Liberty meets Ice Queen lewk. She’s dripping in jewels, the mug is beat, it’s a toot––despite the slightly thirsty wig.
Jan walks out in this kooky half-frozen Elsa look and then does a reveal and BAM, she’s a White Walker from Game of Thrones. Hot damn. Give this talented bitch some effing credit!!
Widow Von’Du went a different route with the category and is giving us Kathy Bates in Titanic. It’s not the most beautiful lewk––mostly because the life preserver is very distracting––but it tells a great story.
Gigi Goode is a cute little kid in a schoolgirl uniform eating a giant ice cream cone. It’s fairly simple, but it works. The cold-looking nose and cheek makeup are a nice touch.
Aiden Zhane’s Yeti look is a cute concept, and the makeup and snake eye contacts work great, but the dress and the wig are pretty cheap-looking. It’s not quite at everyone else’s level, sadly.
Brita looks beautiful in this sculptural, iridescent gown. The reflective gown, the hair and makeup… This is a total (soft) serve.
… Get it?
Crystal Methyd is giving us a Mr. Freeze homage with this fashion-forward pantsuit lewk. The hair and makeup are totally on point.
Heidi, Jaida, Jan, and Widow are safe.
Jackie and Gigi get high praises for their performances, while Aiden, Brita, and Crystal totally blew it. Also, while the critiques are happening, Aiden’s contacts slip and turn sideways.
Backstage, the safe queens get to kiki with Vanjie some more.
Jan is feeling blue (not sorry) from having been safe four weeks in a row. She hasn’t gotten to talk to the judges since the first episode, which fucking sucks. She’s not getting that mentorship that the other girls are benefiting from.
Jackie Cox tells some of the girls they should’ve been more prepared for something like Snatch Game, and everyone gets a little heated about their placement in the competition and the critiques they’ve been receiving. Suddenly, Gigi tells Heidi she hasn’t been doing enough to fix her makeup, which has been a recurring critique. Heidi, obviously, is pretty sensitive about her makeup since Nicki Minaj tore her to shreds about it.
Gigi tries to talk to Heidi one-on-one and clear the air, but she’s interrupted by this week’s guest judges, Jonathan Bennett and Daniel Franzese, who come in to chat with the girls.
The girls return to the main stage, where Gigi is declared the week’s winner!
Crystal is safe, so the bottom two this week are Aiden Zhane and Brita––because obviously, that’s good for TV drama. The girls perform to the Broadway version of “Let It Go.” With fake snow!
Aiden is well-liked by the judges and it’s Brita’s second time in the bottom, so Aiden has the advantage here. Unfortunately, Aiden is already feeling really defeated from her poor performance and sort of gives up. Tragic.
Meanwhile, Brita has a damn magic trick, which everyone (especially Jonathan Bennett, bless his heart) eats up. She wins the day.
There was evidently something about Aiden that ticked the other girls off, and it made it hard for them to like her throughout the competition. Drag Race is hard enough when you’ve got allies in the other queens to lift you up in your low moments, but going through the competition all alone, with no real friends, must be hard. Still, Aiden has a signature style that’s very unique. Once she’s had a little time to bake and earn some coin, she’s going to be a fearsome bitch––and she lets everyone know by exiting with a super loud scream.
Time for another run-down!
Heidi N Closet – Poor Heidi took a tough blow to her confidence again this week with Gigi’s critique of her makeup. She continues to be an absolute delight, but with such tough competition, I worry her time might be up soon.
Jackie Cox – Jackie did a great job this week, but it wasn’t enough to beat what is now clearly her biggest competition, the unstoppable Gigi Goode. She’s funny, charismatic, and talented as hell––but never quite as much as some of these other queens. I hope she does manage to pull off a win, but it sort of feels like this was her one shot.
Jaida Essence Hall – I’m surprised by Miss Jaida. She seemed like such a damn powerhouse in the first few episodes, but she’s faded into the background a lot these past two weeks. She went from frontrunner to sort of middle-of-the-pack, which is a total shocker. I hope she picks herself up.
Jan – Poor Jan has officially started to doubt herself as a result of the producers’ cruel manipulation. It’s heartbreaking to see such a talented queen second-guess herself when she’s doing so damn well. Next week is a singing challenge, though, so there is hope!
Widow Von’Du – Widow was just okay this week, but she remains a solid threat and a great performer. Let’s not forget her amazing lip-sync performance on week one––even if she does fall in the bottom two, she’ll likely annihilate whoever she’s up against.
Gigi Goode – What else is there to say about Miss Goode after this week? She has achieved what only one other queen, Aquaria, has managed to do in Drag Race herstory: win both the ball challenge and Snatch Game. I mean, why even bother having a competition anymore? Gigi’s already won. ‘Cause she’s a legend.
Brita – Ugh. I am so tired of this ho blaming Aiden Zhane for her shortcomings. At least with Aiden gone, Brita can finally have no one to blame but herself. She’s had an absolutely dreadful run on the show and her drama with Aiden is over now, so here’s hoping next week is her last.
Crystal Methyd – Poor Crystal struggled big time this week. She seems a bit lacking in confidence, which is such a shame because she’s talented as fuck. If she could see what the world—hell, what RuPaul—sees, she’d be as fierce as Gigi. Like Aiden, she may just need a little more time to bake.
That’s all, ladies! Tune in next week for the next chapter of our gay-ass extravaganza!