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Previously on Drag Race: The queens were tasked with putting their acting skills to work by doing improv on terribly written scenarios. Heidi N Closet killed it. Aiden Zhane was (potentially?) underestimated by a few of her fellow queens. And Nicky Doll struggled with the language barrier––though at the end of the day, Dahlia Sin was the first to go home.

The queens kiki in the werk room, where Aiden Zhane tells the girls she’s glad she made the choices she did in the last challenge, because they were well received by the judges.

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The subtext here is “stop doubting my abilities you pretentious bitches.”

Brita‘s not buying it, though. She still thinks Aiden is the weak link here. More importantly, Brita is waiting to be recognized for her talent and placed in the top ASAP.

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Delusion… Convince yourself.

Jan is also struggling a little bit with not placing in the top yet, though in her case, it’s 100% justified. She’s getting frustrated that the judges aren’t seeing her IT factor. Which she definitely has.

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Rigga morris.

This week, the queens’ mini-challenge involves dressing up as bees and twerking it out. Brita apparently considers throwing herself on the floor a decent dance move.

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“What is wrong with you”

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Crystal Methyd‘s dancing is only okay, but her bee lewk deserves a shout-out. Meanwhile, Gigi Goode proves she can dance after all. Did someone say triple threat?

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Dat ass tho.

Gigi Goode gets the gold!

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Winner winner… pollen dinner?

This week’s maxi-challenge is a three-layered ball that’s all about… actual balls. The queens are asked to bring three lerks to the runway, including one ball-themed accoutrement they’ll be making on the spot.

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Nicky has been WAITING for this.

Jaida Essence Hall has this great idea for a pageant gown covered in white balls, but she quickly realizes she doesn’t have enough balls for that. So halfway through, Miss Thing has to turn her gown into a leotard.

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Oooo girl.

Gigi’s in a spot of trouble too. She spent a long time creating this sculptural white outfit (which looks amazing, by the way) but kinda forgot she needed to glue a fuckton of balls to it. And now she’s running out of time.

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That’s not Goode. (Not sorry.)

Aiden Zhane has put together this black and white corset with some balls hanging off it and thinks this is great, this is perfect, no need to do anything else. Done.

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Jan the overachiever is scandalized.

Now for the main stage! We about to have 36 lewks up in here. Hoo-ey!

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Award ceremony trophy realness.

The first of three categories: “Lady Ballers,” for queens who play with balls. Like, you know, sports (ew). I know nothing about that stuff so I’m gonna do my best here. Bear with me.

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Up first, Jackie Cox is going full butch lesbian with this cute lacrosse getup. It’s fun, it’s sparkly, and those platform shoes are killer.

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Nicky Doll is giving us oppalens in this quarterback lewk. The outfit is gorge, and the hair and eye accessories are fully selling this fantasy. Yes, yes, yes.

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Aiden Zhane’s first lewk is actually quite good. This vintage baseball player number might be a little on the simple side, but that hair and makeup are stunning. Also, she licks her ball, which apparently the judges enjoy very much. Party.

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Stop everything and go home. Rock M. Sakura has a tetherball wig on her head. TETHERBALL. WIG. It swings around her and smacks her in the face and the whole thing is just glorious. And can we please talk about the glittery nosebleed? I cannot even.

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Jaida Essence Hall’s lewk is simple but effective. She’s serving basketballer lady realness. Glam and sporty. She gets extra brownie points for bringing out an actual basketball and playing around with it. I certainly couldn’t.

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Brita is, I think, supposed to be a sort of conceptual baseball converted into a full lewk. It’s a fun idea, but the execution is a little… meh.

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Crystal Methyd has taken a page out of Jackie Cox’s ’60s book with this adorable bowling alley queen realness. It’s an original take on the assignment and the color combo is fierce. I’m noticing Crystal’s lewks often incorporate brilliant color combos. C’mon, art school.

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Sports are kinda Jan’s thing. So she’s gone full soccer ball realness and brought a real ball, that she dribbles down the runway… in stilettos. You have to stan. Stan Jan.

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Heidi N Closet’s golf player look is simple, but it tells a great story and she sells it with her usual infectious enthusiasm. Heidi is very much approaching that Alyssa Edwards-esque “loving everything she does because she’s just that charismatic” level, and I’m at peace with that.

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Widow Von’Du has gone in a different direction with this Polo lerk. It’s clever, it’s form-fitting, and the stuffed horse head on a stick is just genius. Also, I’m a sucker for a jabot. Yes ma’am.

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Gigi Goode is pulling out a brilliant Heathers reference with this croquet outfit, made complete by those gorge red bottoms. Winona-she-betta-do.

Runway number deux: Basketball Wife Realness!

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Jackie Cox is giving a little bit of a jersey vibe with this sexy lewk. Her makeup looks a tiny bit rough, though.

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Nicky Doll looks fucking fantastic in this black-and-red getup. There’s a French touch with the beret, but you could totally see this bitch sitting bored on the edge of the court.

I know what a basketball court is! Are you proud of me?

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Aiden Zhane’s lerk is pretty basic, though the big hair is a nice change from her usual merkin. Also, she sells the garment surprisingly well for how tacky it is.

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This week Rock M. Sakura has decided to prove she can be fishy and sexy and not completely over-the-top when she wants to. And girl, this is a success. I barely recognized her. Toot.

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Jaida Essence Hall is a fully realized WOMAN. The curves, the swerves, the hair, the makeup, it’s all so on point. Some people are just blessed.

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Brita’s look is uh… She’s… yellow.

Next.

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I think I’m going to need proof that this is Crystal Methyd. This is such a different lewk for her. Like Rock M, this gal is setting out to show that she can tone down her makeup when she needs to. She looks gorgeous.

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Jan is wearing a rhinestoned tracksuit. Like, yes, please, I’ll have one in every color. Also, her ball-purse reads “Janel.” JANEL. This bitch.

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Heidi N Closet’s outfit is nothing to write home about, but the hair, the sunglasses, and the generally disinterested scowling she’s doing throughout are really selling the basketball wife fantasy.

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“May the best woman… win!”

Widow Von’Du looks gorge in this ruffly white number. This looks like the kind of garment that would get stained SO easily, and with all that makeup around, the fact that it’s still pristine is amazing enough.

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I really don’t think Gigi Goode could look bad if she tried to. This black-and-white snake skin coat is perfection, and that hair! Ooooh mama.

Lastly, we come to the hand-made category: “Balls to the Wall Eleganza!”

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I think this is my favorite thing that Jackie Cox has worn so far this season. The colors and materials are resplendent, the minuscule disco balls on her earrings and in her hair are absolutely everything, and this solemn, almost robotic look she’s serving on the runway is the turquoise cherry on top.

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Nicky Doll is serving up sea anemone at Mardi-Gras with this beautiful pin-up number. Those damn shoes are everything.

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Aiden Zhane really should’ve listened to Jan. This half-finished fiasco of a referee lewk is not the tea, girl.

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Rock M. Sakura’s final lewk is loud, but the hair somehow pulls it all together and makes it work. I don’t love it, but I certainly don’t hate it.

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Jaida managed to turn her last-minute leotard into a damn work of art. This bubble bath fantasy looks incredibly well-made, definitely not like something that was put together in 24 hours. Well done.

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Brita honey what is u doin? This so-called “pineapple dress” is a damn atrocity. And those shoes! And that hair! What was she thinking? My God. Get it away from me.

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Crystal Methyd went all out, like Rock M. Sakura, and it works. This aggressively colorful lewk is fun and she’s re-accentuated her makeup to go with the clown theme. I like it.

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Jan. Wow. This is a LEWK. Pokémon meets Marie-Antoinette with a touch of… Burning Man? I don’t know, girl. It’s indescribable. And AWESOME.

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Like Jan, Heidi N Closet has taken the theme very literally and gone full balls to the wall. This lewk is like some sort of crazy mix between a child’s toy and an intergalactic super soldier. Like something Sid from Toy Story would make.

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Widow Von’Du’s outfit is original, it’s fun, and she fully sells it with the hair and Mayan-like makeup. The shoes are iffy, but it’s forgivable.

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Golly! She’s showing us her balls!

Gigi Goode was able to glue all those balls to that dress after all. The end result is… certainly not something I would wear, but it’s high-fashion in that wild avant-garde kind of way. She also sells it wonderfully. The gal’s a natural.

Jackie, Crystal, Jan, Heidi, and Widow are safe.

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Again? A-fucking-gain?

Nicky Doll is told she looks amazing but needs to show more personality… on a fashion challenge?

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“You hearing this shit?”

Aiden didn’t do enough. Rock M. needs to edit (excuse me how dare you). Brita’s lewks were just a mess from start to finish.

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Agreed.

Backstage, Rock M. is reeling from realizing she’s in the bottom three (and girl, so is the entire world). Nicky and Widow come to the rescue, giving her a really good pep talk about being there for herself and not to represent for her hometown.

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Listen to the French girl. She knows things.

Aiden is asked by the other girls if she thinks she should’ve spent more time on her garment, since apparently she took a nap after making that lazy corset. Aiden says she did think about it and was satisfied with the outcome.

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Oooookay.

Guest judge Leslie Jones, who’s been adding a much-needed layer of glee to this episode, comes to the Untucked lounge to tell the girls how important and magical drag queens are.

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Preach, cyst.

Then Leslie turns around, looks at Aiden, and goes “what’s up with you?”

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And I oop

Aiden explains she’s being looked at differently because her background is not the same as the others’ and she doesn’t have the kind of sisterhood these other girls do with fellow queens. Leslie says none of that shit matters. “I fucking fell in love with you. And you gotta fall in love with you.” That’s some powerful advice.

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Awww.

After giving some advice to Nicky, Leslie tells Widow she hates her yellow shoes. Then signs them.

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Amazing.

Back on the main stage, Gigi Goode wins the week!

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The mini-challenge AND the maxi-challenge!

Aiden Zhane is safe.

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WHAT.

Somehow, Rock M. Sakura is in the bottom two against Brita. I am confusion. I am disgusted. I am discombobulated.

Anyway, the lip-sync song is one of my fave songs ever, “S&M” by Rihanna. Unfortunately, it’s about to be ruined by this mess of a performance. Rock M. attempts to rip off the bottom of her garment but the threads are too solid and it takes like, seven hours.

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Sweet Jesus make it stop

She tries to make it up by doing a bunch of splits, which A. is a bit overdone, and B. half of them are blocked by Brita, who plays dirty by standing in front of her.

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Come on, she’s already having a hard time!

Brita stays.

This episode will go down in infamy as one of the biggest cases of rigga morris in herstory, right alongside Shuga Cain. Rock M. Sakura was stunning this week and had absolutely no business being in the bottom. I suppose she was sacrificed for the sake of the rivalry between Aiden and Brita, which honestly, I would’ve preferred for the season to just wrap up with a lip-sync this week. But it’s a TV show, and drama always prevails. Whatever. Rock M. is about to become Drag Race royalty, because there’s nothing like a robbery to keep people talking about you for years.

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Rock M. is a star. Periodt.

Let’s pick ourselves up and do that rundown.

Jackie Cox – Miss Jackie’s first two lewks this week were just okay, but her third was killer. I’m still waiting for her to really shine––hopefully on next week’s acting challenge.

Nicky Doll – Nicky redeemed herself from her failure last week, but the judges are still waiting to see her personality. I know she’s a smart, funny queen, but it’s hard to translate that. I hope she can manage.

Aiden Zhane – I don’t dislike Aiden. In fact, I’m starting to root for her underdog storyline. But girl absolutely deserved to be in the bottom this week. The fact that she wasn’t is seriously an insult to this show’s integrity. Now I really hope Leslie Jones’s words of encouragement light a fire under her ass and help prove RuPaul was right to keep her around.

Jaida Essence Hall – Jaida is still effortlessly sailing through this competition. I’m not worried about her, honey. She’s a powerhouse and a half.

Brita – What are we gonna do with Miss Thing? I hope being put in the bottom two will be the wakeup call Brita needs, because the arrogance she’s been showing with Aiden has no place here. You don’t get to look down on someone when you’re barely capable of doing better. If it were my choice, she would’ve gone home this week.

Crystal Methyd – Crystal followed the judges’ critiques this week and softened up her makeup, and even though she was just safe, I’m sure the judges were happy to see it. She’s proving she can take direction and tone down her signature thing, which is a good sign as most queens buckle under that sort of request.

Jan – Who do I have to fuck to get Jan the accolades she’s deserved every single week? The poor girl is voluntarily being held back from the top so she can start to doubt herself, and that is cruel and unnecessary. Production is really fucking with people this season and I don’t like it at all.

Heidi N Closet – Heidi may not be the most polished queen, but she has a creative eye and, most importantly, that amazing personality. She’s always good TV, and I hope she stays on our screens for a long, long while.

Widow Von’Du – Widow’s not getting much of a storyline so far, besides being one of the queens who looks down on Aiden Zhane. I hope she gets a little more screen time in the coming weeks.

Gigi Goode – Gigi murdered this episode from start to finish, and it feels damn right. I’m proud of her. She’s 100% one of this season’s top threats, and an excellent contender for that crown. Our potential top three is starting to emerge, ladies…

With that, I’ll see y’all next week for an episode I will be extremely invested in: the girls are doing a parody of my all-time favorite TV show, Grey’s Anatomy!! SERIOUSLY.

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