Previously on All Stars: The queens’ best friends (and for some, lovers) came to get their drags on for the first time. Monét X Change continued to slay the game. And Naomi Smalls was handed a win at last—and used it to take down the season’s frontrunner, Manila Luzon.
Naomi is basking in the glory of her victory, enjoying her long-awaited moment in the spotlight.
The ladies sit down to discuss this gagger. Naomi thought Manila Luzon was extreme competition and may not have had her back. But who did Monét X Change pick? The sponge queen nonchalantly announces she made the same decision.
Miss X Change says she’s a “petty bitch,” and that she neither forgot nor forgave Manila attempting to get rid of competition (read: Monét) in order to save Latrice Royale a few weeks back. Retribution has been had. In double.
Trinity The Tuck is beyond shooketh, especially after the reveal that Manila was chosen by both queens. Trinity has been clear throughout the competition about wanting a fair fight between the best of the best, with no tricks or shenanigans or rigga morris, and this is not how she wanted things to play out. Plus, if queens start to go after top competition, she’s obviously next.
Naomi Smalls drops the nice act for a minute and gets honest: “Life’s not fair. Get used to it.”
The next morning, RuPaul comes in to introduce the new challenge: a scripted comedy skit (ruh-roh) in honor of the beloved series, Sex and The City! The queens are tasked with playing both the TV show characters AND their actress counterparts in shady behind-the-scenes commentary.
But wait, there’s five contestants and only four main SATC characters. To solve that mathematical conundrum, Ru is also bringing back that one messy bitch from season 6 who fell out the window!
Naomi, as last week’s winner, gets to assign the roles—so she immediately picks Sarah Jessica Parker for herself, wanting to take the main role and remain in her spotlight from last week.
The ladies mostly agree on who should play whom, but both Monét X Change and Trinity The Tuck want to be Kim Cattrall, because girl, who doesn’t. So they duke it out in a highly entertaining game of Rock-Paper-Scissors.
So Monét X Change winds up with Kristin Davis—adorable, but admittedly a lot less fun to play. Monét accepts and rolls with the punches.
Monique Heart doesn’t know much about Sex and The City (rude), but she’s willing to go all out. In playing her character, the gal who, for the sake of this parody, miraculously survived that fall from a New York penthouse, Monique is tempted to sprinkle in some twitches and deficiencies that would have been caused by the brain damage.
Filming for the show starts and some of the ladies are having trouble right away. Mainly Naomi Smalls, whose SJP is just not very SJP.
Trinity The Tuck is having the same issues—her Kim feels a little too much like Trinity still. Mostly, the deep voice is an issue for Trin-Trin.
Monique Heart enters the scene and her wig immediately slides halfway off her head.
Overall, everyone feels a little shaky. But we’ll see how the final product turns out.
The next morning, all the queens come into the werk room feeling confident about their challenge performances, which is interesting considering a lot of them looked like they were doing pretty poorly. Monét is happy with her Kristin Davis, but she does think she would’ve done a better job than Trinity at playing Kim Cattrall.
The conversation turns to eliminations, and Latrice Royale states track record shouldn’t matter that much as far as eliminations go. What should matter, in her opinion, is what queens plan on doing with that platform. Whether they will they use it for good or, in her own words, “self-indulgent music videos.”
Now for the runway!
Category is “Cat Couture.” Let’s get this purr-ty started.
Trinity The Tuck is wearing this incredibly form-fitting leopard suit. She really is the body queen. It’s excellent.
Monét X Change is giving us sexy Pink Panther realness. It’s pretty quirky, and while some of the costume looks a tad cheap, the general illusion is fun.
Latrice Royale misunderstood the assignment. It’s just an evening gown with safari-themed prints all over it. The hair is cute, the rest is a boot. (And that rhymed, bitch!)
Naomi Smalls is an adorkable “modern-day cat lady,” a Harajuku anime girl with pastel colors and kitty cats all over her. It’s super cute.
Monique Heart has killed it. She is glammed up as Puss in Boots with incredible makeup, incredible boots, and the biggest hat in history. This is amazing.
Time for the main show: Sex and the Kitty Girl 3!
Naomi Smalls looks super cute as SJP, but the characterization is not quite there. To be fair, it’s hard to imitate Carrie Bradshaw.
Trinity The Tuck’s Kim Cattrall is pretty great in the end. The voice isn’t ideal, but the attitude is great and the look is perfect.
Monét X Change does a good job as Kristin Davis, but there’s not a ton of meat to her role, sadly, so she fades away a bit.
Latrice Royale as Cynthia Nixon is not bad, but like Monét’s part, it’s a bit dull. Plus she looks really ridiculous with that bright-ass ginger wig.
Monique Heart does an excellent job as Kristen Johnston‘s penthouse fall lady. It’s a quintessential Monique role and she kills it.
The skit inexplicably ends with a clown-themed party that turns into a messy fight. I gave up trying to understand the Drag Race challenge writing staff a long time ago.
Some critiques: Trinity channeled Kim Cattrall beautifully. Monét did okay, but not great, and also looks more like a mouse than a cat.
Latrice Royale did okay in the challenge but missed the mark hardcore on the runway. Naomi wasn’t likable and kinda tanked as SJP—yikes. Monique killed it through and through.
Trinity The Tuck and Monique Heart are the top two this week.
This week, it’s my favorite dramatic twist: “if you’re not in the top, you’re in the bottom.”
The queens get back for deliberations—which, for Monique Heart, involves frantically removing her cat makeup so she can have her outfit change ready for the lip-sync.
Trinity The Tuck is really trying to think through every single aspect of this decision. Report cards, reputation, her personal relationship with each of the bottom girls… She asks each of them who should be sent home in their opinion. For Monét and Naomi, that’s Latrice.
Where Trinity is fully invested in this decision and almost overthinking things, Monique is a bit too focused on redoing her own makeup—at the cost of having real, proper conversations with her fellow queens. When Monét approaches her to discuss the situation, Monique tells her “I just want to know that you won’t hate me.”
When it’s her turn, Naomi defends her performance to Monique, who promptly cuts her off saying everyone did well.
Trinity tells Latrice both Naomi and Monét think she should go home, and Latrice immediately goes to confront them about that. Naomi tells Latrice she’s been inconsistent, and Latrice shoots back that she thinks Naomi should be the one to leave.
Monique and Trinity reconvene and discuss what their decision might end up being. They weigh the pros and cons of each bottom girl. They don’t know who to pick.
The lip-sync tune of the week is “When I Think Of You” by Janet Jackson.
Both girls do an amazing job with the performance. Neither of them misses a single beat. At the end of the day, I think the decision comes down to outfit changes. Trinity looks amazing in her ruffly black and pink number, while Monique’s wig choice is a little on the rougher side. So Trinity takes this one.
With that, Miss Tuck reveals the lipstick she chose.
Throughout the competition, Latrice Royale showed that while she’s a fierce fighter, her drag style has fallen behind a bit with all these incredibly fashion-forward queens that have emerged since her first season. Perhaps, if she gets brought back a FOURTH time in the future, she’ll have a chance to prove everyone wrong about that.
Ladies… The final run-down!
Trinity The Tuck – Trinity is a fierce, fierce bitch. She’s practically sailed through this competition, with only one or two small missteps along the way. She absolutely deserves a win. But as the only white queen in a “highly melanated” top four, as Monique puts it, Trinity unfortunately represents a risk for the franchise. Crowning the fifth white winner in a row would not be cute.
Monét X Change – Monét has redeemed herself so amazingly from Season 10, and she’s had such great moments all season. She really proved that with a little polish (and bigger budget), you can fully rudeem yourself. Monét is entertaining, talented, and a definite powerhouse. An excellent contender for the crown.
Naomi Smalls – Out of the top four, Naomi Smalls is arguably the weakest—but not by a very wide margin. The fashion queen has brought some amazing lewks all season, and her comedy performances have mostly been great too. But it feels like she still doesn’t have enough of a brand and identity for the All Star Hall of Fame.
Monique Heart – While I really enjoyed Monique Heart throughout Season 10, I absolutely fell in love with her this year. She’s grown so much in so little time, and while she does still occasionally lack polish in her looks, she has such a sharp wit and creative mind that that often surpasses her slightly less-than-perfect outfits. And heck, this week’s Puss in Boots fantasy was a goddamn shoot.
There you have it—our final four. Not at all the top four I’d imagined, but I am very happy with this. Any way the cookie crumbles from here would be fine by me.
So on that note, see y’all soon for the final recap!