Previously on Drag Race: The Vixen exposed Aquaria‘s attempts at shade and tore her the fuck down in the process. Mayhem Miller was bulldozed by the other queens in the challenge and then threw Monique Heart under the bus on the runway. And Yuhua Hamasaki refused to look ugly—and then played air guitar, gross—and was sent packing for it.
The girls get back to the werk room, where they discuss Asia O’Hara‘s challenge win and her crazy Tweety Bird outfit. A joke is made about her borrowing Blair St. Clair‘s gloves for the runway and Vixen throws some extra shade at Aquaria about it.
Monique Heart speaks up about how frustrated she is that Mayhem Miller name-dropped her on the runway. Monique reminds Mayhem that she asked her repeatedly if she was okay with things during the challenge, but she never said anything except to RuPaul.
Mayhem brushes Monique off, saying she didn’t want to be bothered with all this at the time and is now just focused on getting everyone out of her way so she can win.
We got ourselves an interesting little rivalry all set up here. I can’t wait to see how this turns out.
The next morning, the gals get together and talk about how Monét X Change keeps wearing these tiny little short-haired wigs and never does anything else. Monique Heart decides to throw a little bit of shade to be real cute.
This morning’s mini-challenge, as announced by an increasingly sick Mama Ru, is to get into quick-drag and model for some celebrity photobombing. Category is: Photoshop realness.
Monique Heart, looking like a snack, goes and touches Nick Jonas‘s bulge.
Kameron Michaels does an “I’m with Stupid” sign for a Trump eclipse photobomb. Nothing but respect for my president.
Aquaria’s feeling cunty and goes for a snarky poop-scooping pic with Kim and Kanye.
Aquaria wins the mini-challenge! She gets a $1,000 credit from Postmates. It’s kind of a silly gift, but she plays along like it’s nobody’s business.
To really drive that sponsorship home, Ru brings in Pit Crew oldie Shawn all dressed up in a Postmates uniform. Gotta pay them bills!
This week’s maxi-challenge is the “Last Ball on Earth,” a global warming-themed extravaganza with three runway categories. The first two categories are playing Opposite Day: “Alaskan Winter Realness,” a heatwave bikini look; and “Miami Summer Realness,” a snowy, covered-up lewk.
The last look is “Martian Eleganza Extravaganza,” for when everyone moves to Mars because Earth is fucked.
Monét X Change goes straight for this shiny, expensive-looking quilted fabric and starts cutting through it with no real pattern. Asia O’Hara is A. jealous of the material, and B. horrified by how sloppy Monét is being with it.
As the girls are working on their outfit, The Vixen starts off another weekly round of “Vaaaanjiiie” that goes around the whole room.
Asia O’Hara, a pro seamstress, is going around the room helping all these less gifted queens with sewing machines and design tips and all that kind, motherly stuff.
Ru comes back into the werk room to chat it up with the girls about their lewks, and asks Asia about her last name and her relation to other drag queens. Asia lists off a bunch. Phi Phi O’Hara, the most famous (or infamous) one, is conspicuously not mentioned.
Ru visits Aquaria, who’s feeling pretty confident about this challenge. She says “some girls in the werk room chose to read books, I chose to turn looks.” When RuPaul tries to get her to repeat that for the show’s promo, Aquaria flubs and trips over her line.
RuPaul chitchats with Monét X Change about her tiny wigs, which Monét explains are more about avoiding having a ton of hair in her face on stage. “So it’s a convenience thing,” Ru concludes with a smile.
The next morning, the girls are applying finishing touches and getting their makeup on, and Asia O’Hara brings up her family. Both her parents passed when she was 27, and that, in some ways, fueled her sense of motherly nurturing for other girls. She’s learned to live in the moment and cherish every relationship.
Miz Cracker, out of curiosity, asks Aquaria about the rumor going ’round New York that she has sugar daddies who pay for her stuff.
Shockingly, Aquaria takes the question very well and responds in a reasonable, human manner, saying it’s a misconception and that she’s worked really hard to get to where she is. Plus, she throws in a fun reference to the Shangela sugar daddy speech.
The girls are talking about Eureka‘s southern accent and Monét X Change brings up this crazy claim: That the British used to speak with an American accent until after the American Revolution, at which point they started speaking with the British accent.
Well, guess what, Mimi? Turns out she’s right! Apparently, the British accent we know today was originally created after the American Revolution by nouveau riche Londoners who wanted to stand out from the masses. Trufax!
It’s time for the runway, and—hold up, stop everything: RuPaul has shown up in this insane, futuristic club kid lewk like nothing she’s ever worn before.
Honorable mention to Dear White People’s Logan Browning, who looks super fierce.
Are you ready for this runway, girls? Eleven queens times three categories equals thirty-three lewks!! Here we gooooo!
Category is: Alaskan Winter Realness!
Mayhem Miller looks simple but polished, with fantastic makeup that matches the outfit perfectly.
Honestly, Eureka’s big gray bra is giving me giant old grandma titties realness. But I like the pattern for her robe.
I… don’t really like this look by Monét X Change. It’s a bit basic, and most importantly, her wig is messy as hell. Run a comb through it, girl!
Kameron Michaels has gone for this rich bitch at the pool party lewk, and her padding is crazy good. That’s a woman, Maury.
The Vixen’s look is ballsy as hell—I mean, you can practically see her balls. It’s fully transparent, and she’s carrying around this giant-ass fan. Toot.
Aquaria has brought out this ultra-fierce Lucha Libre lewk with a long braided ponytail. She looks amazing.
Dusty Ray Bottoms‘s rhinestoned hat is fierce and so is the hair, but the rest of the look is a tad on the basic side.
Monique Heart’s Beyoncé-inspired watermelon swimsuit is nothing super revolutionary, but it’s cute and her hair is real nice.
Blair St. Clair’s swimsuit look is old glamour beauty. It’s simple but polished, and she’s really selling the movie star on a cruise thing.
This Asia O’Hara lewk is a bit bleh, honestly. It looks very homemade. Not a fan.
Miz Cracker’s hula dancer outfit is made entirely from hair. Braided for the swimsuit and bright green for the skirt. Werk, bitch.
Category is: Miami Summer Realness.
Mayhem Miller’s snow queen look is crazy good. I feel like the white contacts could get tiresome at some point, but they haven’t yet. Slay.
I like Eureka’s makeup… The rest is a bit meh. It’s polished, but not particularly incredible.
This is probably the best Monét X Change has looked so far this season. The crown and the makeup are pretty great. The clothes are decent, too.
Werk, bitch. Kameron Michaels’ crazy icy look is insane, from the makeup to the bodysuit to the giant fur coat.
The Vixen’s got this poofy, fairytale reindeer look, and she’s blowing fake snow everywhere around her as she walks. Queen of presentation.
Aquaria’s got a wild, pastel-dyed fur look going on. It’s colorful, it’s whimsical, and it manages to look really cohesive despite all the different colors.
Dusty Ray Bottoms has a good concept going with the frozen heart, but the dress looks a little plastic-y. Plus her wig is supposed to light up but you can’t tell in these runway lights. Sad.
This Monique Heart look isn’t the best. It swallows her up a little bit, and it’s too monochrome. You can’t make out much other than her face.
Blair St. Clair’s outfit is nothing incredible, but her hair, makeup, and jewelry really make up for it. She’s selling a character, and it works.
Asia O’Hara’s look is a concept for sure. It’s a bit busy, honestly. Hurts my eyes a little bit. Makeup’s fierce as always though.
Miz Cracker is giving Bond villain realness with her snow equipment and scary-looking darts. The makeup is fierce and she’s selling the fantasy.
And lastly: Martian Eleganza Extravaganza! Take me to your leader, bitch.
Mayhem Miller looks like something out of a video game with her crazy design and wild makeup. It’s pretty fierce.
Eureka’s look is very “Chairwoman of the Board of Directors” in 2175. It’s nicely coordinated and looks pretty good.
Someone really needs to tell Monét X Change not to show off her shoulders so much. They’re just a little too square for her to pull off these looks. That wig is a bit on the tired side too, but at least it’s bigger than usual.
Kameron Michaels is giving us a whole story with this futuristic space traveler who can’t get her communications device to work. It’s fierce, it’s funny, it’s great.
I want to like The Vixen’s turcoaahze look, but the longer I stare at it, the more issues I notice. The collar doesn’t really fit right, that little extension in front of her vajayjay is weird-looking, and her wig is getting caught on her tiara. Oopsie.
Aquaria’s look is minimal, but it hits all the right notes. She’s going full comic book supervillain and it is sexy and powerful.
Dusty Ray Bottoms looks nice and glittery, but I would’ve maybe worn a bigger wig. The corset could probably have been a little more cinched, too.
Monique Heart is serving a gorgeous reveal. That said, there’s not a whole lot of futuristic space-ness about the second look. It’s gorge, but maybe a little off-topic.
Blair St. Clair is giving us ’50s space Barbie, fierce and pink and glamorous.
Asia O’Hara is serving with that crazy spherical structure on her head, but the rest of the outfit has some construction problems. The jacket doesn’t fit properly, the purple headpiece is a little frumpy… It could use some work.
Miz Cracker is going all sexy astronaut with a glittered-out helmet. It’s clean and polished and tells a story.
We made it, girls! That was all the lewks.
Mayhem, Eureka, Vixen, Monique, and Blair are declared safe.
Kameron Michaels, Aquaria, and Miz Cracker are praised for their lewks, while Monét X Change, Dusty Ray Bottoms, and Asia O’Hara get negative critiques. Asia is asked why her outfits look so unfinished and she explains she was busy helping the other queens a lot. Everyone on the main stage pipes in and agrees that Asia helped them.
Backstage, Eureka compliments Monique Heart on her lewk and when The Vixen agrees, Eureka tells her she gets it more because she’s a “crafty queen.”
Monique and Vixen tell Eureka they don’t get the use of the word “crafty” to designate them in this sense, seeing how everyone had to get crafty for this challenge. I think it might be a race thing.
But now Eureka is miffed and she starts to throw some quips at Vixen and Monique throughout the conversation. Finally, Eureka tells them she’s going to take a smoke because she’s getting tired of hearing them talk.
Vixen goes the fuck awff, shouting at Eureka that she’s picking a fight for the sake of picking a fight and that she’s exactly the same girl she was back in season 9, that nothing’s changed. Highlight of the fight:
The ladies get all up in each other’s face about this. This is the most aggressive fight we’ve had on this show since motherfuckin’ season 2.
Eureka and Mayhem leave and Blair St. Clair, who’s been super quiet this whole time, tells Vixen she noticed Vix’s issues with Eureka and how she’d been holding shit back in her presence.
Eureka tells Mayhem she was testing The Vixen to see how she’d react (oh bitch, please), and Mayhem, while taking Eureka’s side, does tell her maybe Vix is someone she shouldn’t fuck around with. Wise fish.
The top and bottom girls come back, and Monét X Change and Dusty Ray Bottoms are both in tears because they know they’re in the bottom. Miz Cracker tears up for her friend and comforts Monét.
Dusty Ray Bottoms is a mess too. Her metallic Martian outfit cut into her skin and she’s bleeding, and she’s completely distraught.
Aquaria gives Dusty a pep talk too, and Monique compliments Aquaria on how human she was just now. The shade of it all.
With five minutes left to get ready, Dusty and Monét hug each other and wish each other the best. It’s a beautifully sweet moment.
On the main stage, the winner is decided: it’s Aquaria!
The bottom two, as the queens expected, are Monét X Change and Dusty Ray Bottoms.
The lip-sync song is “Pound the Alarm” by Nicki Minaj, and both girls are giving it absolutely everything. And that shit is hard to lip-sync to, so respect. Monét, however, murders everyone with this insane move.
Dusty Ray Bottoms tries to keep up by throwing in some crazy epileptic dancing, which is super fun.
But Monét is vogueing and being hilarious, and she ends things by finally going for a split after all, which totally kills after her earlier fake-out.
With that, Dusty Ray Bottoms sadly sashays away, but not before RuPaul tells everyone that that was a model Lip-Sync For Your Life.
As she’s leaving, Dusty explains that when she was younger, she used to watch the show sitting inches from the TV with the volume at its lowest possible setting, so no one would know what she was watching.
I cannot wait to see what Ms. Bottoms does going forward. She’s a unique, fascinating queen with a beautiful, incredible story of rising against the odds and I am rooting for her 100%, even beyond the show.
With that, let’s get to this rundown!
Mayhem Miller – I wish Mayhem would stop being so overconfident about winning and “getting these bitches out the way,” because she’d do better trying to make more of an impression with her personality. Still, her looks are great and I can’t get enough of her mug.
Eureka – I have to say, The Vixen was right this week: Eureka really doesn’t seem like she’s changed at all since season 9, and it’s disappointing. She’s still starved for attention and always trying to make everything about her. It’s not cute.
Monét X Change – Monét is funny, full of personality, and a total lip-sync assassin. But her sense of style keeps getting in her way and it almost took her down tonight. I do hope she improves, but like with Alexis Michelle last year, I just don’t know if it’s possible to get better at fashion in the span of a competition.
Kameron Michaels – Kameron continues to look flawless and destroy the runway, but her personality is nonexistent. She’s getting virtually zero screentime and zero confessional moments, and it’s very worrisome. I hope she starts to stand out more soon.
The Vixen – Another week, another Vixen fight. But this week, compared to the last few times, Vix was not the one to instigate the argument at all. I’m completely on her side on this one—Eureka was doing a lot and she deserved The Vixen’s wrath.
Aquaria – Aquafina’s already getting a redemption after last week’s snafu, killing the challenges while making a conscious, visible effort to be more natural and kinder with her fellow queens. It’s a great look, and she’s got a one-way ticket to the top of the competition if she keeps it up.
Monique Heart – Monique’s looks this week were a little more deserving of her safe spot than usual, but the point remains that she’s just been safe over and over in this competition so far. She needs to get some time with the judges to show off her brilliant personality, because they’re completely missing that whole side of her.
Blair St. Clair – Blair continues to kill it on the runway and show a surprising amount of talent. She said it this week, she likes that her age makes her look like a non-threat because no one will see her coming. I certainly didn’t.
Asia O’Hara – This was a close one for Asia. This season’s future Miss Congeniality has been spending so much time helping her fellow girls and being the mother of the group that she’s neglecting the main aspect of this whole thing—it’s a competition! Hope she snaps out of that soon.
Miz Cracker – Cracker continues to be flawless, murdering the challenges week after week and exposing a fantastic personality in the process. So far, she’s a total shoo-in for the top, no question about it.
There you have it, gals! Who’s excited for next week? I know I am. Toodles!