RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 3, Episode 7 Recap: Squirping Like A Chirping Like A Bird

Previously on All Stars: The eliminated queens came back for their ruvenge, but didn’t get to lip-sync or choose who went home or do much of anything really. Morgan McMichaels was brought back to the competition by the true mother, the saint of all saints, the bringer of track records and fairness, Our Lady of the Congeniality, BenDeLaChrist, who then sent herself home in the most gag-worthy TV event since Lady Gaga bumped into Leonardo DiCaprio at the Golden Globes.

Back in the werk room, the queens are super damn shook about Dela’s departure. Trixie Mattel and Bebe Zahara Benet discuss how the “eliminate your sisters” game was getting to Ms. Creme and she was tired of it. But Shangela, ever the game-player, remains convinced that this was all part of a strategy of BenDeLaCreme’s to make herself look good.

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Honey… She’s gone now. You can stop with the paranoia.

While Shangela is speculating about Dela’s true motives, though, Trixie chooses to focus on what this means for her: A much, much, much bigger chance at taking the crown for herself.

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Opportunist fish!

With the Dela gag out the way, Shangie asks Bebe Zahara Benet who she would’ve brought back or sent home. But Bebe, “out of respect for Dela,” chooses not to disclose that information.

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Excuse me bitch?

All the girls try to get Bebe to come out with it, but the season one winner is adamant—that is not happening. Rude.

All season long, Shangela has made it a recurring theme to compare herself to Daenerys Targaryen from Game of Thrones. It was getting honestly tiresome, but this week, she gleefully declares that Bebe Zahara Benet must be the season’s Cersei Lannister, and that that is her sworn enemy. And suddenly, I’m living for Shangie’s Game of Thrones shtick.

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Yas, Mother (of dragons)!

The next mornting, the girls gather around the werk room table but are soon greeted by RuPaul and a little guest of his: Minority Leader of the House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi!

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Morgan is showing more emotion than when she was brought back into the competition.

She’s here to briefly chat with the queens about voting and fighting the good fight.

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The shoes match the shirt and the necklace, and the stockings match the necklace too. Nancy girl, this outfit is a toot.

Nancy Pelosi tells the girls that they matter, and Trixie sheds a tear. It’s a sweet moment.

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Awwww.

With Nancy gone, Mama Ru presents this week’s challenge. The girls will need to star as some of the most iconic, award-winning movie characters in a crazy mash-up called “My Best Squirrelfriend’s Dragsmaids Wedding Trip.”

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Gurl, that is a mouthful and a half.

As a welcome-back present, Morgan McMichaels gets to decide who gets what roles. It’s so much more fun when the girls assign each other the parts. There’s always a bunch of drama from queens not getting what they want. Case in point: Bebe Zahara Benet is given the role of the Queen (of England, as played by Helen Mirren), and she wonders why Morgan would pick her for this part.

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You don’t see it? Really?

Kennedy Davenport gets La La, Emma Stone‘s role from La La Land, and Shangela gets Actavia, a kooky mix of Octavia Spencer‘s roles from The Help and Hidden Figures. Both are happy with these options. For herself, Morgan picks Beige Swan, an obvious parody of Natalie Portman‘s Black Swan.

And Trixie Mattel, who really wanted La La or Beige Swan, instead is given the last remaining role, Sharon Frockovich, a sluttier version of Julia Roberts‘ Erin Brockovich.

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There is gonna be some drama in the parking lot later.

The girls get to filming for the short, and Kennedy Davenport tries to narrate in her confessional—except she can’t pronounce the full title.

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It’s okay, honey, you tried.

Filming starts with Ross Mathews, and right off the bat, some of the queens get a couple notes. Bebe Zahara Benet is being really stiff and boring as the Queen. Shangela, in her confessional, calls it “Bebe doing Bebe,” which is some incredible shade considering Ross just told her she didn’t sound interesting.

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Paramedics!

Kennedy comes in overacting the heck out of her Emma Stone character, fumbles the lines, and gets her wig tangled on her face, but I find it really hilarious. Maybe because the messiness adds to the character.

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Kennedy as messy Emma Stone is my kind of entertainment.

Morgan McMichaels is told to spice up her Beige Swan character by making swan noises, so she comes in hissing at everybody because according to her, the only real noise swans make is hissing, when they feel threatened.

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Ornithologist fish?

The next day, the girls are getting ready for the runway and they talk about perceptions fans have of them. Trixie Mattel, in particular, has an issue with coming across a little grand and standoffish at times, which we saw last week with Adam Lambert. She admits that her attitude is something she needs to work on. Morgan, in her confessional, straight-up validates this and adds that Trixie is “fooling herself” if she doesn’t think she’s grand.

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Can you imagine if everyone on Drag Race could be as straightforward as Morgan? That would be the gag of every season.

Bebe Zahara Benet complains that people think she comes off as “boujie.” Which, well, yeah, duh. Shangela illustrates this beautifully by imitating Bebe’s favorite facial expression.

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Wait, where did Shangela go? All I see is Bebe.

Trixie talks about having to hide when she goes to drag shows so she’s not recognized, and Kennedy Davenport jumps on that by saying she wants the opposite. She’s always a second thought, never the one people want to see.

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Messy fans are messy. And a little racist too.

Let’s get to the main stage!

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Ru’s dress is nice, but that wig is sitting so far back on her head it looks like it might fall off any second.

Tonight’s runway category is “Red for filth.” Alaska would like a word.

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She’d like to keep it on, please.

Bebe Zahara Benet is giving me terrible Valentina flashbacks, but she does look great, no doubt about it. It’s very club kid meets high fashion.

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Kennedy Davenport’s look is nothing revolutionary, but it’s gorgeous, polished, and she is feeling herself from start to finish. Toot.

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I’m a sucker for anything inspired by traditional or historical outfits (like Peppermint’s poofy regal dress on season 9), so this hits the spot for me for sure. Morgan McMichaels looks gorgeous displaying her Scottish heritage, and she’s a bit playful too. Watch out!

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Shangela is in this crazy conceptual dress that poofs up and gets all spiky as she walks down the runway. It’s incredible, her hair is incredible, the makeup is incredible… She can have the crown, we’re done here.

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Trixie Mattel took the theme quite literally (get it? literal… okay, whatever). She’s got books and an apple on her head, her entire outfit is made of latex, and her waist is almost as small as her wig. Eat your heart out, Violet Chachki.

Time to watch the finished product for My Best Squirrelfriend’s Drag… nah I give up.

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Trixie is hilarious in her Erin Brokovich parody. She uses her fake baby’s hand to fix her hair and that’s enough for a win, honestly.

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Bebe Zahara Benet’s line delivery is frankly pretty flat. She is totally overshadowed by the other characters.

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Kennedy Davenport is playing La La with a weird mix of brainlessness and manic twitchiness, and it’s oddly hypnotic. I can’t stop staring at her.

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Poor Morgan McMichaels was asked to quack instead of hiss by Ross Mathews, and now, she looks dumb as hell. Oh well.

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Shangela’s sassy Octavia Spencer is very Shangela. Her line delivery is excellent, and she looks pretty good too.

Time for the critiques! Bebe, for the first time ever, is told she was a bit disappointing in the challenge. Kennedy and Morgan were so-so as well. This week, Trixie and Shangela are the very obvious and very deserving winners.

The girls return to the werk room for deliberations and crowd around the cocktails while Bebe is getting her life by the entrance.

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She’s feeling her oats! Let her feel her oats!

Morgan is disappointed in her poor performance, but she says she didn’t want to do something that was too Morgan. She wanted to step out of her comfort zone.

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Lopsided eye roll realness.

Kennedy, in her confessional, makes an excellent point: Trying something new on the one week you have to impress everyone and try to stick around is not wise. Look what happened to Coco Montrese and her (now legendary) jazz dance for the talent show.

Trixie Mattel compliments Bebe Zahara Benet on her runway look and compares it Ornacia. Bebe, straight-up, responds with “Who’s Ornacia?”

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Say WHAT?

Bebe apparently has not been watching the show this whole time. Which explains last week’s wig removal snafu.

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Clocked.

Luckily for Bebe, Kennedy embarrasses herself even more by mispronouncing the word “meme.”

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Oops.

The eliminated girls go off to chat it up with the winners and Morgan McMichaels is left alone on the couch in the interim.

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Me at 5 PM every day.

Shangela takes a page from Morgan’s ultra-honest book and actually says in her confessional that Kennedy is her closest friend here and she doesn’t want to send her home.

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Honest fish.

Bebe Zahara Benet is completely pretending her negative critiques this week didn’t happen and that she’s still doing great. It’s a bit silly, really. Kennedy equates her to Milk in this moment as far as delusion goes.

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I mean yeah, she looks great, but… she had too much of Jinx’s perfume I think.

It’s time for the lip-sync! The girls are performing to RuPaul’s own “Freaky Money.”

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Trixie is a vision in pastel and is giving amazing facial expressions. But Shangela has pulled this insane comedic fat suit number and is murdering the judges with her jiggly twerking.

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She’s never looked hotter.

Shangela’s got this win in the bag, but Trixie gets an honorable mention for being just as fun and silly and pulling off her signature death recline, the slow comedic version of the death drop.

Shangela now has to eliminate a queen. There are no mind games this time around like when everyone thought she’d send Trixie home. Shangie keeps it kind and respectful.

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As expected.

It’s always incredibly difficult for a returning queen to stay in the competition, and Morgan unfortunately didn’t do quite enough to guarantee herself a spot in the finale. But it’s okay, because she got to show more of herself and she looked gorgeous doing it.

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Farewell, beautiful.

One last rundown!

Bebe Zahara Benet – I don’t know if it was because she took off her wig last week or because we finally reached the episode where it was no longer necessary for production to keep Bebe away from the bottom, but the judges finally had negative critiques for her this time around. Overall, she’s still done really well, but I don’t think she’s nearly as well-rounded as the other girls. AND SHE DOESN’T WATCH THE DAMN SHOW.

Kennedy Davenport – I found Kennedy really funny this week, from her kooky characterization in the challenge to her reaction shots. This gal gives the best eye rolls. She also looked gorge on the runway. But does she have what it takes to win the crown? I do think she’s a level below Trixie and Shangela still.

Shangela – Out of the four remaining queens, I think it’s clear Shangela is the most deserving. She’s an excellent actress, she’s funny, she brings total glamour, and she’s just really entertaining to watch. I’m a Trixie fan through and through, but I can still admit Shangie is killing it and should get the crown.

Trixie Mattel – I’m really relieved that Trixie has managed to do so well in the end, after a rocky first few episodes. She’s definitely redeemed herself from her season 7 run. It’s absolutely between her and Shangela for the crown, but I think, even going by lip-sync wins, that Trixie might not be able to outshine Shangela.

Ready for the finale? I’m mostly ready to wrap this up and start season 10, but don’t tell anyone. In the words of Ginger Minj: “Come on, All Stars! Let’s get this over with.”

See ya next week!

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