RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 3: Let’s Meet These Bitches

Girl.

GWORL.

They’re baa-aaaack! RuPaul’s Drag Race’s most popular queens (well, the ones who were available) are about to be reunited at last on the long-awaited third season of All Stars. Are y’all excited? Because I’m peeing myself a little as I write this.

So while we wait for the winter – and this new season – to get here, it’s time to get into these promos and get reintroduced to our golden gals!

Ready? Let’s get gaggy.

Aja

Well hey, this is a familiar face! Back after only a few months off the race, Aja is galvanized and ready to show the world she’s more than just a Valentina hater. She’s done a whole lot of growing since getting on season 9, and this Brooklyn sis is about to prove that she is a queen worth rooting for.

I’m excited to see how her face painting skills measure up now that she’s had some time to learn and improve. Whether or not she performs better at challenges this time around, I think she could easily take the runway by storm now that she has that touring money to dress herself with. Plus, I mean, she’s pretty much TV gold. So yay for that.

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Chances of winning: Aja thinks it “would be really cute” if she proved everyone wrong and, unlike Chad Michaels or Alaska, who we kinda all knew would win from the moment they were cast on their All Stars seasons, we had a queen that no one expects to win take the crown. She’s definitely going into this as a hell of an underdog, and if she manages not to get lost in the shuffle, All Stars 3 might be a great opportunity for Aja to rudeem herself.

 

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The terminally delightful queen is back, and she’s looking good! After having spent the last few years flying under the radar somewhat, BenDeLaCreme is returning to the main stage of Drag Race to prove she can win more than just Miss Congeniality. Wouldn’t a crown look good on this gal? I think so too.

BenDeLaCreme’s big advantages in season 6 were her acting skill and comedy chops. Sadly, the Seattle queen spent most of her season suffering from some sort of weird one-sided rivalry with Darienne Lake, which really didn’t do anyone any favors. Now that she’s Lake-free, Ms. Creme should hopefully be able to spread her wings even wider.

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Chances of winning: DeLa is beautiful, she’s funny, and she’s unpredictable. She can be just as good at the challenges as on the runway. Really, I’d say BenDeLaCreme’s biggest weakness will probably end up being her lip-syncing ability. Hopefully, she’s improved a bit in that aspect, but even years’ worth of practice may not be enough to stand up to the likes of this next queen.

 

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Laissez les bons temps rouler! Our favorite bayou queen is here to show us all how it’s done, cajun-style! Chi Chi’s undeniable southern charm is what makes her really pop, and I can’t wait to see it and her on my TV again soon. Did I mention she’s from Shreveport?

In season 8, Chi Chi’s biggest weakness was her serious lack of budget. But with the fame that her season has brought her, she’s been able to fill that bank account right up and afford nice things, like shopping at Whole Foods! Good for you, queen!

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Chances of winning: Chi Chi was a serious powerhouse in season 8, and part of that was because she was completely underestimated coming in. Now, we know what she can do: she can act, she can dance, and she turns out a lip-sync like it’s nobody’s business. Her one weakness back in 8 was her limited wardrobe, but that’s no longer going to be an issue now. Watch out, girls, she’s coming for that crown!

 

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The struggle is real, and so’s this queen’s fierceness! If you thought Kennedy Davenport should’ve made it onto season 7’s top three, I’m sure you’re glad to see this beauty back for the kill. Kennedy is done playin’ and is ready for more!

One thing’s for sure: the dancing diva is going to give us some gag-worthy lip-syncs, and that’s reason enough to have her on the show, especially after a season 9 that tended to be a little snoozy in the lip-sync department.

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Chances of winning: I think Kennedy’s downfall in season 7 was being a little too narrow-minded. She had trouble recognizing the talent that younger, more unconventional girls like Violet, Trixie, and Pearl had, and I think that might be what led to her falling short of the top three. For All Stars 3, I’m all for Miss Davenport being her fun, shady self – but hopefully, she can try to be just a little less condescending to the weirder queens. Lawd knows being mean to a fan favorite is never a good idea on this competition.

 

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Is there such a thing as Milk doing a body too much good? Just kidding, gworl, we know that ain’t her real body! (And thank God.) I’m excited to see Milk coming back to Drag Race.

Season 6 felt like it was just a little too early for a queen this unconventional to do well. The judges thought she was weird, Gia Gunn thought she was weird, everybody thought she was weird. But now, with our beloved artsy weirdo, Sasha Velour, reigning triumphant, I think the world is ready for a new round of Milkin’ time – with less judging this time around.

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Chances of winning: Granted, 2018’s audience is going to be much more accepting of Milk’s aesthetic than 2014’s audience. But will it be enough for her to actually take the whole thing? Milk has bold, inspiring looks and will probably murder the runway, but I’m worried she might not be able to measure up to some of the season’s more energetic queens. I guess we’ll see!

 

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It’s Morgan! I love me some Miss McMichaels. I always thought she was eliminated way too fucking early on season 2. She was, in my opinion, one of the most interesting performers on that year. Of course, it’s been seven years now since then, so the world of drag is very different from what it used to be. But that don’t mean we should count this gal out!

Coming from an older season, Morgan is the kind of ultra-genuine drag queen who cares a lot less about coming across a certain way (coughValentinacough) and generally just enjoys being her true, shady-ass self, cameras or no cameras. It’s refreshing, and it makes for amazing television. I get the feeling she and Aja are gonna create some beautiful sparks together.

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Chances of winning: Like Tatianna on All Stars 2, Morgan is definitely going into All Stars 3 as one of the biggest underdogs. But Tatianna proved that just because she’s from an older season doesn’t mean she’s any less sickening, and that’s what I’m hoping happens for Morgan too. She may be a little less well-known and well-loved than some of the fresher queens, but Morgan is funny, charismatic, and has a whole lot of spunk. I look forward to seeing her slay.

 

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Halleloo, ladies, she’s back! Again! Miss Shangela Laquifa Wadley is being brought back, for the second time, to Drag Race. Now that’s gonna be a polarizing presence. Shangela is the kind of queen you either love or hate. So which is it, darlings?

Say what you will about the girl, but she has made her mark in the years since she competed. Shangela has been on all sorts of TV shows and achieved the kind of mainstream popularity that very few drag queens can say they’ve really gotten. So why not come back to the motherland and show off the tricks she’s learned?

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Chances of winning: Shangela can act, dance, work a death drop like no one else can, and be glamour – without a sugar daddy. Her biggest flaws on seasons 2 and 3 were her lack of sewing skills and generally unpolished looks. But she was a baby queen then, and she is a fully grown glamazon now. These other bitches better watch out – Shangela is the full package.

 

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Ooooo, it’s Thorgy! Thorgy Thor was definitely one of my faves in season 8, and I was so crushed that her talent went so unrecognized. Well, “unrecognized” is a bit harsh. She just got beat at everything she did by Bob the Drag Queen. Well, Thorgy, there’s no Bob this year, so go nuts!

Thorgy is a true triple threat – heck, she’s a quintuple threat. Is that a thing? Thorgy is making it a thing. How many drag queens do you know that are fabulously beautiful,  can impersonate Michael Jackson to a T, and play the cello? Exactly.

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Chances of winning: Thorgy’s biggest flaw in season 8 was that she constantly overthought everything. Spontaneity is a drag queen’s best friend, and Thorgy needs a little more of that! Hopefully, in All Stars 3, Miss Thor can be a little less of a perfectionist – and also take a page out of Sasha Velour’s book and keep smiling through the losses. Sasha lost most of her challenges to other contestants, but she applauded the winners and moved on and won the whole thing in the end. Maybe Thorgy can do the same this time!

 

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Oh, honey. Hoooooneyyyyy. This is the one you’ve been waiting for, admit it! This bitch has completely taken the world by storm since her vaguely decent run on season 7, and she’s about to murder her competition on All Stars. Well, maybe.

Let’s face it, hennies. All Stars 1 was made for Chad Michaels. All Stars 2 was made for Alaska. And All Stars 3 was made for Trixie Mattel. Now, does that mean she’ll win? We’ll just have to find out. At the very least, I can see her going real far. Unless she has to lip-sync against Chi Chi or Kennedy day 1, in which case… Well. Bye-bye, birdie.

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Chances of winning: Trixie is already the favorite going into this season, but really, when you look at her performance on season 7, I do wonder if she actually has what it takes to win the whole thing. I’m mostly concerned that she’s built such a solid, specific brand for herself that she’s no longer versatile enough for this kind of competition. But hopefully, she’s got a ton of sickening new lewks just waiting to gag us. I’m definitely rooting for her.

 

That’s all of them, darlings! Well… except for the mysterious tenth queen. Who do we think it is? It’s Venus D-Lite, isn’t it? It’s totally Venus D-Lite.

I cannot wait for this season to get started so we can crown Trixie and move on — I mean, uh, see all the amazing looks everyone’s going to bring to the runway. How excited are you for this – and for my recaps? Don’t be shy. You know you love them.

See you very soon, hunties!

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