Hoe, hoe, hoe. Let’s get this Christmas roast a-cookin’! It’s time for the RuPaul’s Drag Race Holi-Slay Spectacular! Try explaining THAT title to the straights.
Show of hands—who’s excited for the Drag Race Christmas Special?! I don’t know about you, but I cannot wait to have Eureka back on our screens.
So. Very. Excited.
Oh, who am I kidding.
Anyway, before we get to the X-mas-palooza, it’s time to ruveal the ten queens chosen to compete in the next sickening round of All Stars, henny! Hope you’re ready to laugh at my opinions. Let’s do this!
It’s time for the grand finale! We start off with a “She done already done had herses” message from RuPaul celebrating the show’s tenth anniversary.
Well hey there, hennies! Have you been enjoying this season as much as I have? It’s been a rollercoaster, that much is clear—but the resounding impression I am leaving this season with is that nearly every queen in this year’s competition (except for Serena) has been an absolute superstar. All Stars is just waiting to snatch these girls right back up.
But in the meanwhile, I’d like to take a look back at my first impressions of these ladies—some accurate, some terribly, humiliatingly wrong. Are we ready to make fun of me?! Let’s go over these queens, my original take on them, and their most memorable lewks and moments!
Previously on Drag Race: Vanessa Vanjie Mateo vanjied her way into our hearts. The Vixen came to fight, and girl did she get what she wanted. Kameron Michaels had the overall presence of a goldfish (but like a really pretty one). And Asia O’Hara struggled between being a fierce competitor and being kind to her sisters.
It’s time for the reunion, hennies! Are you ready for this scalding hot T? I’m not.
We start off immediately with all the queens sitting together, ready to get into it. I wish they’d let us get a look at their full outfits before they all sat down but okay werk.
Previously on Drag Race: The queens were asked to take their deepest, darkest, most embarrassing truths and… turn them into a runway outfit. No pressure! Aquaria was named one of the entire series’ best fashion queens. And Miz Cracker crumbled under the pressure and went home.
The ladies get back to the werk room and mourn their salty white friend. Eureka praises Kameron Michaels for being this season’s clear lip-sync assassin. As always, Kameron is being a bit quiet about all of it, but in her confessional, she says she intends to keep slaying all the way to the end.
Previously on Drag Race: YouTubers came in to get their oversized balls tucked and feel their oats on the runway with the queens. Miz Cracker created a masterpiece and finally won a challenge. And Monét X Change was defeated by the lip-sync assassin, Kameron Michaels.
The queens get back to the werk room and mourn the sponge-loving ho, Monét. Cracker is super shook that her best friend just got sent home, and Kameron feels hella guilty.
Previously on Drag Race: RuPaul and the other judges started getting really fucking tired of Monét X Change‘s pussycat wigs. Miz Cracker continued to flounder and not do much of anything to stand out. And Kameron Michaels and Eureka flopped, but the Tennessee Sisterhood turned it out in the lip-sync and no one went home.
The girls return to the werk room to celebrate Eureka and Kameron’s double shantay, but not everyone is feeling like pussy poppin’. Aquaria, in particular, is hella bitter that no one got eliminated and she has to sit through another challenge before they can move on to the top five.
Previously on Drag Race: Kameron Michaels proved once and for all you shouldn’t mess with the quiet ones. Eureka was forced to relive a traumatizing experience with her knee surgery—I mean her dancing—I mean her singing. And The Vixen finally sashayed away after putting up a fierce, fierce fight.
Back in the werk room post-Vixen exit, the ladies regroup around her mirror message: “Evil triumps [sic] when good queens do nothing.” Perhaps it’s the spelling mistake, perhaps it’s a lack of culture preventing them from understanding the reference, but everyone looks super confused.
Previously on Drag Race: Eureka‘s level of unprofessionalism was far too much for The Vixen. Aquaria killed Snatch Game. Someone fucked up playing Beyoncé yet again. And sweet, stunning Monique Heart lost her wig and sashayed away.
The girls regroup after Monique’s elimination and discuss the elephant in the room. No, not Eureka! The Vixen is still hella miffed that almost everyone on the main stage told RuPaul she should go home. They tell her it’s not personal, but that ain’t gon’ fly with Miss Vixine.